hello, poindexter!

May 20th, 2010

I can’t stress enough how nice it’s felt to continue to see an increase in subscriptions to Hello,Poindexter!, despite my willful negligence of blogging during these past few months while I’ve been studying at Columbia University. Thanks to your encouragement, I’ll carry on with the occasional chronicling of my endeavor to obtain a second undergraduate degree. (First one is in Photography from Parsons School of Design for those who missed Chapter One). I thank you nice readers, whoever you are, for your (always surprising) interest in my thoughts, and if it’s all really boring, well, you asked for it.

There were many times during the past semester when I thought about reaching out online for advice. It seemed that everyday I was having some kind of (uncharacteristic) emotional breakdown covering an overwhelming amount of personal issues: (including but not limited to) my lack of income from not touring anymore, my increasing student loans and the recent estimation of the horrifying final amount I will owe the government upon graduation, my potentially irresponsible decision to follow my heart into yet another career where I’ll probably never make any money, being 30 years old and having teenagers for classmates who endlessly confound me in their ability to comprehend everything completely and immediately before I have even begun digesting the concepts (thus destroying my chances of benefitting from the curve), the crappy state of the graduate studies system in the U.S, the crappy state of equality for women in the sciences, my nagging obsession with my grades (because good grades in the sciences matter?) pitted against my greater conviction that learning matters more than grades (right, scientists?), and lastly, the uncomfortable awareness that in today’s economy, I should be so lucky to be in this situation at all, and so should probably just shut up and get on with it. I wasn’t looking for sympathy, just a little reassurance that this whole science thing is really worth the trouble and expense. But after much hand wringing, I decided that if I were to ask myself if forgoing a ‘normal’ career with job security (whatever that means), a consistent income (never experienced that), and the opportunity for growth at a company (got that in my own way, I guess), in favor of a potentially resume-wrecking career in the arts has been worth it, I would say, hesitantly, yes, it has been worth it. And I’d recommend it to others. But only if there really is nothing else on Earth you’d rather do, because it takes literally everything you’ve got to give and leaves room for little else, and also leaves you somewhere between broke and Waffle House waitress (Lady Gaga and similar obviously not included in this last assessment). I have a feeling doing science requires just as much if not more. Maybe all things worth doing, do.

Constant fretting aside, I ended up with a pretty great batch of grades at the end of the semester. They’re definitely worthy of pinning up on mom’s refrigerator. And I’m really proud of myself. Although I worked hard the first time I was in college, the arts have always come fairly easily to me, so in that arena I was always competing to be the best in my class. As a science student at Columbia, I’m working my ass off just to be considered even average. And in the past few months, I met even more truly exceptional people who inspired me every single day to be both a better student, and a better person (I’m still working on that last part though). One of my classmates (and friends), Madeline Cohen, has done more selfless good deeds by 19 years old than I’ve done in my whole life. I’m ashamed of myself in comparison. In addition to taking way more classes than any freshman should take in one semester, she was always running off to go to volunteer her time for any worthy cause, from tutoring to mentoring, helping Doctors without Borders and old ladies cross the street, who knows how else she’s spending her time or how she manages it all with that halo always getting in the way. I don’t watch a lot of T.V, but I’ve tuned in long enough to be kept up at night panicking about America’s teenagers. (Heidi Montag makes my uterus shudder in protest) and Maddy might just be the exception to the rule, but she really restored my faith in young women. One of the best things for me about being around younger people has been that their commitment to ‘making a difference’ is still in tact, and it’s really infectious. They’re not naïve, in fact, many of them are really cynical—but like the good, John Stewart type of cynical. I’m really grateful to have the chance to learn from them, and hopefully won’t infect them in turn with my overly cliché, jaded and impatient New Yorker-ness.

A number of other things in the past year made truly life-altering impacts on me, which consequently culminated in my decision to pursue an Environmental Biology degree rather than one in Astrophysics. Astronomy is my heart—and it’s still the fuel that feeds my love for science. All I have to do is look up at the night sky to be reminded of why I want to chase this dream of doing science. But when I get my head out of the sky, I can’t help but see that there is so much that needs to be done down here on Earth. And since I’ve got this one chance to alter the course of my life while at one of the best universities in the world, I feel what I can only describe as moral obligation to be as useful as possible, and considering my strengths, that’s within the environmental and ecological sciences. So I’m at E3B, for anyone that’s interested, this is the program and I can’t recommend it highly enough if you’re thinking of doing something like this:

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/e3b/

One of the last things I posted on this site was a clip from the documentary, The Cove. (Which went on to win an Oscar!) That film is what, I think, first sparked this shift in my priorities, and if any of you have watched it, I’m sure you understand why. Soon after that, I saw a film called Collapse, which was shocking to the point of being paralyzing—I liken it to taking the red pill in The Matrix. Its clear and frightening message about peak oil and the inevitable collapse of our unsustainable world is enough to convince even the most rational person that living off the grid, growing your own vegetables, and trading all your money in for gold bricks might not be as extreme a solution as you would think. I haven’t done any of those things (and am, in fact, writing this blog while on a gas-guzzling CO2 spewing Airbus flying from NYC to Lisbon) but its message has haunted me every day since I first saw it, especially now, as 70,000 barrels of oil gushes into the Gulf of Mexico per day. If you haven’t seen either of these films yet, I urge you to do so, and if you have seen them, I’d love to hear your comments.

Finally, I’m reading a book called, “The Story of Stuff” by Anne Leonard, about just that, the story of stuff—how it’s made, how it’s distributed, and what happens to it all when we’re through with it. It’s one of the most sobering reads of my life. It’s made me examine every little thing I come into contact with on a daily basis. In the course of this flight alone, I’ve been offered a plastics-based blanket wrapped in plastic, plastic headsets wrapped in plastic, a plastic tray with different plastic containers (a quick flip reveals the number “3” within the wheel of arrows—oh, great, it’s the most poisonous plastic, PVC! That’s just what I like my hot food to be in!), plastic cups, plastic spoons…plastic, plastic everywhere. And when I’m finished with my meal, where does it go? Perhaps to a megadump, and/or eventually to one of the plastic garbage islands slowly growing in the Pacific Ocean? It’s enough to make you give up or to give in—to say, to hell with it, gimme the plastic, it’s too hard to resist, it’s everywhere. But both directly and indirectly, industrial chemicals are making us very sick. This probably isn’t news to any of you, but it bears repeating. I’ve posted the video that spawned the book below.

I’m about 6 hours from Lisbon, where I’ll begin a month of touring with Annie and Erika. We’ve got a lot of exciting things lined up for this trip, the top two on my list are playing a show with AIR in Paris, and visiting Athens, which I’ve never been to before. Now that the semester is over, I’ll be checking in more often, and would love to hear from you. Any scientists out there who have advice for me? Or fellow students who are worried about loans and job prospects? Or any other equally concerned environmentally friendly people who have books or insights to share? A.R.S fans who just want to say “Hello” are also welcome, of course.
Thanks for reading.
xxH